Friday, 30 December 2016

How do I feel?

What seems ridiculous to me is that I, myself, am the only person, in this world that determines how I feel, surely? I mean, people add to how you end up feeling, so if someone does something hurtful and upsetting, then more often than not that’ll equate to how you feel. But why is that? Why is it that some people, certain people, have such a heavy load on your emotions and how you feel? It seems amazingly unfair and is so hard to control, from my point of view anyway. Why is it that we let our heads become so clouded with the effects of what someone else has done? I do anyway.

Some actions can make people sad, hurt, jealous, angry. It can make people do things, out of character things, that some may regret later on. However, are they really out of character if you manage to go through with these actions? Perhaps they’re entirely part of your character, suppressed inside you, and all you need is a certain person, a certain situation to make you finally act upon these feelings. Who knows, maybe thats a good thing…

I get angry. And then I overthink. And then I think “is this a reasonable enough reason to be angry? Would someone else be angry about this?” But then I think why not? Anger can only be produced if it is about something you’re passionate about or something/someone you love. So I believe I do have the right to be angry when certain situations occur. I don't want to go into these situations however. It’s just, the thing that really, really bothers me, is when people do things, hurtful things to you, which you’d never in a million years do to them. 

I don’t really get sad, I get angry. Because to me being angry is easier to deal with then being sad.

Sorry this isn’t like my previous blogs and that I haven’t posted in a while. I just needed an outlet to display my emotions briefly, as there isn't anyone I wish to speak to right now. I’ll probably end up deleting this once I’ve calmed down.